The Quiet Struggle: Living with Social Anxiety

Amidst the sweaty palms and racing heartbeat of social anxiety, acknowledge the unwavering resilience that propels you forward. By re-framing the narrative, this post aims to instill confidence in individuals with social anxiety, empowering them to embrace their true selves and find fulfillment in life. Delve into the transformative effects of self-care practices in effectively managing social anxiety, highlighting their pivotal role in prioritizing and nurturing your psychological health.

By offering practical self-care suggestions that can assist individuals with social anxiety in finding moments of serenity and calm through activities like mindfulness exercises and pursuing hobbies. Challenging society’s misconceptions about vulnerability is a vital step in redefining strength within the context of social anxiety.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health someone with social anxiety,
feels symptoms of anxiety or fear in situations where they may be scrutinized, evaluated, or judged by others, such as speaking in public, meeting new people, dating, being on a job interview, answering a question in class, or having to talk to a cashier in a store. Doing everyday things, such as eating or drinking in front of others or using a public restroom, also may cause anxiety or fear due to concerns about being humiliated, judged, and rejected (CITE).
This really gets to the heart of the matter, doesn’t it? Public settings and group interactions tend to overwhelm me, making it difficult for me to function properly. However, I thrive with one-on-one conversations and interactions. Even then, a knot of anxieties still lingers within me. This is how I know it affects you to, that reads this post looking for a secret cure.

Countless times, I’ve found myself redoing situations repeatedly in order to successfully complete a task, whether it’s making a simple phone call to set up an appointment or going to the pharmacy to pick up medication. I can still think up a deluge of ways to mess it up, my imagination pouring out like a torrential downpour.
I imagine this happens with you. When you try to do some kind of responsibility or task in public, it remains lost to you in some form of anxiety that has been looming over you in any social situation. It isn’t too long before you try to avoid social situations all together and then it affects your relationships.

I often find myself in relationships with individuals who I consider being safe, as they can assist me in situations where my anxiety is overwhelming, such as ordering food for me at a fast-food restaurant. Alternatively, if someone lending me a hand by completing the checkout process and guiding me out of the store, as I seem to have difficulty doing it myself.

Below is where the coping mechanisms and self-care strategies come into play. When anxiety becomes too much to handle, they serve as a reliable source of support.

Challenges and Misconceptions

This fear of negative judgment can also manifest in various ways, such as feeling constantly self-conscious, always worrying about how others perceive you. The burden of fitting in and living up to societal norms can create a constant state of self-doubt and anxiety, as you constantly question every word and action, fearing embarrassing mistakes. Your senses may heighten, making you keenly aware of each action and word, anxious about making any misstep that could cause humiliation or rejection.

Cultural norms can exacerbate social anxiety by setting rigid standards for social interactions and appearances. For example, certain cultures place a strong emphasis on maintaining a certain level of politeness and conformity in social settings. This can create immense pressure to adhere to these cultural norms, further intensifying anxiety and fear of making social mistakes.

The impact of societal expectations and cultural norms on social anxiety can be long-lasting. You may internalize the belief that you are not good enough or that you will never measure up to others’ expectations. This negative self-perception can further perpetuate social anxiety and make it even harder to break free from the cycle of fear and avoidance.

In order to address social anxiety influenced by societal expectations and cultural norms, it is important to promote acceptance and understanding of individual differences. Creating an inclusive and supportive environment that values authenticity and encourages open communication can help ease some of the pressure and fear associated with social interactions. Therapy and support groups can provide individuals with social anxiety the tools and strategies you need to challenge negative thought patterns and gradually face your fears in a controlled and supportive setting.

Benefits

This is not meant to say that having social anxiety is a good thing and should be romanticized but for the people who have it here are some things that you can look at and see are not so back about the disorder.

Prepared
Practice
Communication

For decades, I’ve unknowingly developed this habit of replaying conversations in my head before actually having them. I’m willing to bet you’ve done the same. It is often a result of a whirlwind of emotions - anxiety, anticipation, or the burning desire to make a lasting impression.

Through mental rehearsal of these conversations, you can envision diverse scenarios, ready your responses, and refine your communication prowess. This repetitive practice helps to boost your self-assurance and refining your ability to express your thoughts and ideas with clarity. By providing the opportunity to identify potential pitfalls or misunderstandings in advance, it allows for a more effective navigation of the conversation.

This leads to improved communication skills, which in turn result in smoother interactions and better outcomes across different aspects of your life.

Coping Mechanisms

This disorder is anything but easy. It helps to have ways to cope when you have anxiety during these situations or right after or before you encounter them.

Music
Breathe in until you feel your lungs fully expand with air. Hold for 4 seconds and exhale audibly until you release all the air from your lungs and can no longer breath out. Continue to do this until the panic has settled down and you can manage your breathing again.
Grounding rule:
- 5 things hear
- 4 you can see
- 3 you can feel
- 2 you can smell
- 1 you can taste (or you can rearrange them in any order you need based on the moment.)
Therapies
- CBT
- Exposure
- Accupuncture
- Aromatherapy
- ASMR

Being vulnerable

Among the myriad of obstacles encountered by those with social anxiety, the overpowering feeling of vulnerability stands out. The act of going out and starting a conversation can be quite daunting, particularly when we have a persistent feeling of being scrutinized or observed. It’s almost as if all our vulnerabilities are laid bare and we have no protective barrier to conceal them. The reason we often find ourselves in these challenging situations is because there are certain tasks or obligations that we must fulfill, and it is crucial to recognize and accept the hardships that come with these moments.

Considering these difficult situations, how can we effectively navigate them when even the most basic tasks appear to be overwhelming? The key to finding the answer lies in harnessing the power of self-awareness. By developing an understanding of our triggers and gaining effective management strategies, we empower ourselves to overcome social anxiety.

Make it a habit to remind yourself often of the immense courage you possess, as your involvement in this undertaking is solely for your personal growth and progress. Don’t get too caught up in perfecting your words or getting every little detail right. The key is to stay in the present moment and prioritize your own personal growth. It is important to understand the tasks, but it is equally significant to maintain independence and not become ensnared in the expectations of others. Allow yourself the freedom to express who you truly are, with no validation from others, as if it were just you and your innermost self.

Self-Care for Social Anxiety

Self-care is great to use after a activity that was very strenuous and anxiety ridden for you and can help you cope or wind down after a panic attack or social anxiety attack.
Affirmations:
- I can make/do this [task you are trying to do].
- It’s okay not to do this perfectly.
- I am capable.
- I am confident.
Sensory bag (LINK TO BLOG POST I TALK ABOUT IT IN)
Weighted blanket
Meditation
Personal hobbies (fishing, painting, drawing, writing, origami etc…)
Essential oil bath/shower
Beauty ritual
- Grooming hair (facial, body, or on your head)
- Make up
- Skin care
- Nice outfit (dressed up or pajamas)
- Nails
Take a nap
Snack

Conclusion

The burden of cultural and societal expectations can be especially daunting for those with social anxiety, adding to their already overwhelming struggles. For someone who experiences anxiety in social situations, the pressure to conform to social norms, engage in small talk, attend social events, and constantly be outgoing can feel incredibly overwhelming. This can lead to a constant state of stress, with individuals with social anxiety always on edge, fearing the judgment, embarrassment, or rejection from others. The fear of appearing awkward or incompetent can hinder their ability to fully engage in social interactions, leaving them feeling isolated and alone.

The weight of societal expectations can intensify social anxiety, as individuals worry about falling short of these standards and enduring the scrutiny of others. It is essential to understand that social anxiety is not a personal flaw, but a genuine mental health condition that deserves empathy and support. By stepping back and understanding their anxiety, individuals can learn to cope with strategies that enable them to gradually challenge themselves and overcome their fears. Seeking therapy provides them with the tools and support to lead fulfilling lives.

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